Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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