He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
