Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
