im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
