Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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