it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I have fence marks all over my body
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
