Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
