i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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