That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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