belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
