Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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