Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
