Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize