so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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