That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Define "chronic" masturbator.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Randomize
