so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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