i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
