I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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