Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
