it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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