You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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