yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
