You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
