actually, I'm a sock model
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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