i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
