real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
