Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
