I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
