apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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