I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
