I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The struggles of a small town man whore
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
