Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize