This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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