FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
