Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
