a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
