Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I deserve this hangover.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
