I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
