happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize