You just made me feel so damn special
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
