the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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