I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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