Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
