my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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