Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
