Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we're making bets on your personal life
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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