So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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