Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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