i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
