She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
