Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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