Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
