dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
