The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
