Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
