Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
