Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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