READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
