It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
