dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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