3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
