Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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