I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
