If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's blow job season.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
